Wednesday, June 15, 2005
DIRTH OF NEW SUPERHEROES SPELLS TROUBLE FOR MOVIE BIZ; UPCOMING "RATMAN", "SO-SO SIX", "ROACHBOY" ARE "REALLY SCRAPING BOTTOM OF BARREL" WARN EXPERTS
"We Are Nearly Out Of Villian Fighters", Say Insiders; Peak Superhero Scenario May Be At Hand
Top writers and script doctors are currently working around the clock to concoct new hero characters, in order to meet the impending 2006 "supershortage", says a shocking new investigative story in Varietal Magazine. To shed more light on this breaking story, TRR's top tinseltown tattletale has compiled a list of the new secret crop of superheroes, an exclusive to our readers:
Ratman
Batman's lesser-known cousin comes round the bat cave asking for money in an indirect passive-aggressive way, then uses his rage over being confused with Mickey Mouse all the time to fight evildoers
So-So Six
After accidentally getting bombarded with a secret government raygun, six average teens suddenly find their senses 13 percent improved
Roachboy
Shy brainiac becomes hilarious theory-spouting F-student after accidentally being given some pot
The Greatest Caucasian Hero
New daring do-gooder from the geniuses at the Moral Majority and The 700 Club.
XX-Men
Extra X gene found in twelve men accidentally forges a bond that will lead them to Doc Morpheum, who painstakingly trains them to fight grime.
Fantastic Fore
Foursome of hacker-duffer golfers are transformed, by accidental exposure to poverty, into superheroes who wield their clubs to battle crime in the seamy underbelly of Simi Valley.
Scrambo
Breakfast cook travels back to Vietnam to look for other cooks spooked by gooks who took their cookbooks.
Scrambo
Breakfast cook travels back to Vietnam to look for other cooks spooked by gooks who took their cookbooks.
