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Monday, September 12, 2005

 

BUSH, STANDING ON BARGE IN FLIGHT SUIT, DECLARES "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" IN LOUISIANA; SAYS FREE ELECTIONS WILL COME SOON IN REBUILT "NEW NEW ORLEANS"


Admits No WMD's Have Been Found "Yet", But Points Out He Has Found "Plenty of MD's"


President Bush invoked September 11 when he flew into New Orleans again this weekend, telling the American people and reporters onboard Navy Barge One that "Mission is Accomplished" as fighters flew overhead and a Ray Charles lookalike sang "America the Beautiful". After invoking September 11 again to change an unchangable tee time at the Baton Rouge Golf Course, he returned to his theme of rebuilding the Big Easy. "Our original plan, to relocate Nawlins to the Houston Astrodome, has now been cancelled due to it being ridiculous. That was Brownie's idea, and he's long gone. But with the help of God, and Halliburton, this great city will be rebuilt, and I know the city of "New New Orleans" will have free and fair elections by next year. The spirit of democracy is spreading to this dark-skinned land. There is no evil dictator to be found. This land is free, look around! It's truly an exciting time. "

When one reporter insisted on asking the President if he was confusing New Orleans with Baghdad, Bush invoked September 11, then said the whole rebuilding issue is "complex". "I am not saying this Halliburton-built burg will have to be called New New Orleans. I think Crawdad has a nice ring to it, too. Baghdad, Crawdad, my dad, it's all good. May God Bless America."