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Friday, February 10, 2006

 

BOXING FANATICS RIOT OVER DANISH CARTOONISH PHOTO OF MUHAMMAD ALI

A photo ad allegedly featuring "The Greatest" selling cookery has boxing fans rioting in the streets of Denmark, the country that published the faux foto in the current issue of their top magazine, "Denmark's The Spot". The issue, which features a story on the world's most controversial Olympics ads, has upset devout sports nuts and rope-a-dopes everywhere. "We believe in Ali, we love Ali, we worship Ali, Ali is all", said one boxing fanatic, who told NNN he's followed the boxer's career religiously. "To see him reduced to a corporate lapdog like this is offensive Satanic blasphemy we won't sit still for." The punchy fan then threw a rock through a window, defacing the largest building in Copenhagen: the Ministry of Free Love and Drugs.

Below is the offending advertisement which, incidentally, The Rose Review published back in the fall of 2004, scooping all other news networks.


 

INFO-GRAPH: ZEROING IN ON OUR WORLD


Wednesday, February 08, 2006

 

IMPERIAL RECORDS RELEASES NEW COMPILATION, "WIRETAPPING'S GREATEST HITS"

Imperial Records and K-Tel have finally released the long-awaited compilation album, "Wiretapping's Greatest Hits", composed of the best of President Bush's wiretapping "finds" from across America. In addition to many solo tracks, such as "Leftwing Wacko Accuses Government of Denying Citizens Some Rights" and "Stark Raving Ex-President Calls Other Habitat For Humanity Workers To Build Yet Another New House...", there is also a duet between John Bolton and Michael Bolton.

The full track list for this exciting new album is as follows:

"Mom Confirms Grocery List With Husband"
"This Idiot Didn't Wait For The Beep"
"Voicemail Hell"
"Getting Off (The Spirit of 976)"
"Welfare Whore's Weekly Whines"
"I Never Promised You A (Bribe In The) Rose Garden"
"Leftwing Wacko Accuses Government of Denying Citizens Some Rights"
"What The Hell Are These People Saying?"
"Baby Gaagaa Googoo (Family Crap #13,852)"
"Stark Raving Ex-President Calls Other Habitat For Humanity Workers To Build Yet Another New House (That Socialist Bastard)"
"Conceited Musician Sings Awful Song To Girlfriend"
"Bolton Brags About Being More Famous Than Other Bolton" (John Bolton & Michael Bolton)

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Duet bolts them twogether: John Bolton and Michael Bolton primp, preen in imposing poses.


Anonymous sources tell NNN that a sequel album -- "Ain't Impeachable, He's Unreachable" -- will be released in 2008, unless Congress bans the album and holds hearings on possible violations of Constitutional law. However, the latter appears "unlikely", since Democrats "show no signs of growing a spine".



Filed by Chief Retorter Don Rose.