Thursday, January 12, 2006
GOD ISSUES PRESS RELEASE: "VERILY, I SAY UNTO YOU, PAT ROBERTSON IS A RETARD"
The Almighty's press release, a terse and stinging one pager, said He was responding to a flood of mail He has received concerning Robertson's inflammatory statements about Ariel Sharon. God also said he distinctly recalls giving Pat Robertson "a few bricks shy of a load" because "Lo, I was distracted that day, what with a lot of prayers coming in at once and not having our current voicemail system in place. God bless that system, it verily does saveth a heck of a lot of time. I just hit Godsend and I can reply to millions of sinners at once." God also stated that, in addition to his Robertson rebuke, he has revoked Pat's "God P.R." card for a day, hinting that His "day" may be like eons to us peons.
