Sunday, October 24, 2004
TRANSPORTER EXPERIMENT GOES "HORRIBLY WRONG"; PRESIDENTIAL HEAD, ARMS BEAMED INTO FLORIDA PODIUM
Feelin' boxed in: President Bush looks dazed after transporter experiment rearranges his body parts with unexpected results
In an attempt to one-up his opponent today, Mr. Bush made the bold decision to use experimental human-transporting technology to hop from swing state to swing state in seconds rather than hours. However, his first "leap" from Ohio to Florida resulted in a successful trip for head and arms, while torso and legs remained in the crucial Midwestern state. The GOP decided to take advantage of the Commander In Chief's dual location by scheduling two simultaneous stump speeches today: one in West Palm Beach by Bush-Head, and the other in Cleveland by Bush-Stump.
