Friday, September 02, 2005
BUSH GIVES DRAMATIC "ICH BIN EIN NAWLINER" SPEECH TO KATRINA-RAVAGED NEW ORLEANS; TOURS LOCAL GOLF COURSES TO WITNESS DAMAGE TO LEISURE-SPORT INDUSTRY
Arriving in 'Poison Gulf', Bush Blasted for Delayed Response to Disaster Victims; National Guard Finally Arrives, Days Late, In Honor of President's Guard Record
by Don Rose
President Bush vigorously defended his handling of the Katrina-caused disaster in New Orleans and surrounding areas of the South today. "Hey, give me a break", Bush said. "It's hard work. Hard work. First, there was the Iraqi Constitution to finish, everyone knows that rewriting is the hardest part. You cannot deny that. Second, I had several rounds of golf to finish in Crawford -- it is simply bad form to cancel a tee time without several days notice, everyone in Texas knows that. It's just plain wrong. Third, why ain't no one giving me credit for ending my vacation a couple days early? Those Democritics conveniently forget stuff like that."
Asked how he responds to widespread criticism over the length and timing of his vacation, Bush said, "I am glad you brought that up. Someone remind me to visit the golf courses here -- I bet all this rain'll make the greens real soft-like. I can shoot right for the pin, I reckon!"
After his speech and a smattering of clapping, Mr. Bush got in a golf cart to tour the weather-ravaged sections of the Big Easy. Upon seeing the atrocious conditions and terrible situation there, Bush held his mouth in horror and exclaimed, "Geez, this should be called the Big Sleazy! P-U! Someone airlift in a maid or two!"
President Bush vigorously defended his handling of the Katrina-caused disaster in New Orleans and surrounding areas of the South today. "Hey, give me a break", Bush said. "It's hard work. Hard work. First, there was the Iraqi Constitution to finish, everyone knows that rewriting is the hardest part. You cannot deny that. Second, I had several rounds of golf to finish in Crawford -- it is simply bad form to cancel a tee time without several days notice, everyone in Texas knows that. It's just plain wrong. Third, why ain't no one giving me credit for ending my vacation a couple days early? Those Democritics conveniently forget stuff like that."
Asked how he responds to widespread criticism over the length and timing of his vacation, Bush said, "I am glad you brought that up. Someone remind me to visit the golf courses here -- I bet all this rain'll make the greens real soft-like. I can shoot right for the pin, I reckon!"
After his speech and a smattering of clapping, Mr. Bush got in a golf cart to tour the weather-ravaged sections of the Big Easy. Upon seeing the atrocious conditions and terrible situation there, Bush held his mouth in horror and exclaimed, "Geez, this should be called the Big Sleazy! P-U! Someone airlift in a maid or two!"
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Don Rose
Editor In Chief, The Rose Review www.therosereview.com
Don Rose
Editor In Chief, The Rose Review www.therosereview.com
