Saturday, July 30, 2005
Doctors Grade Bush High on Physical, So-So on Mental
New Three-Prong Test Shows Prez Sound in Body, Strong in Confidence, But Still Vulnerable to New Strains of Dumb Jokes
The President's new doctor, Sidney Spleane, told the press his controversial three-part test of Presidential functioning went "fairly good", with Mr. Bush passing tests of strength and bodily health with flying colors, but receiving not so hot marks for mental might. "For example, he continues to confuse countries and leaders when tested, pointing to South Dakota when asked to find Mandela, Iraq when asked to find Bin Laden, and Chad when asked to find Jeremy" said Dr. Spleane. "Ironically, the stem cell research he abhors could enhance his mental faculties tremendously, if he'd only reconsider. We could barrybondsify Bush's brain beyond JFK, LBJ and FDR combined, but I guess we'll have to settle for SOL."
by Don Rose, TRR Chief Political Retorter
The President's new doctor, Sidney Spleane, told the press his controversial three-part test of Presidential functioning went "fairly good", with Mr. Bush passing tests of strength and bodily health with flying colors, but receiving not so hot marks for mental might. "For example, he continues to confuse countries and leaders when tested, pointing to South Dakota when asked to find Mandela, Iraq when asked to find Bin Laden, and Chad when asked to find Jeremy" said Dr. Spleane. "Ironically, the stem cell research he abhors could enhance his mental faculties tremendously, if he'd only reconsider. We could barrybondsify Bush's brain beyond JFK, LBJ and FDR combined, but I guess we'll have to settle for SOL."
by Don Rose, TRR Chief Political Retorter
