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Burger King's new breakfast sandwich has a large sausage patty, two eggs, two American cheese slices and three strips of bacon. It weighs in at 730 calories with 47 grams of fat, or "about what filmmaker Morgan Spurlock eats in one day on his girly-man vegan diet" said a Burger King spokesman, who asked not to be named, because he's a pussy. BK said they backed down from the number two alternate name for the sandwich, the "Fock Spurluck", for fear that Mr. Spurlock might sue for having to suffer the indecency of "an extra helping of publicity", which "is probably the last thing the overexposed jerk needs right now". BK's spokesman corrected me when I asked about their demographic for the new sandwich, saying "we think of our target eaters as our Enormographic".

Thanks to the tireless efforts of our top undercover mole, who goes only by the name "Wide Throat", we have uncovered an extraordinary document, which we now share. Here now is...

BK's super secret internal memo listing their
TOP rejected titles for the new breakfast item (not for reprint):

The BREAKFEAST sandwich
The ENORMELET
The CALOREASE sandwich
DA BOMBELET
L'EGGS MEGAPUFFIN
The MORGUE-IN GOODLUCK sandwich
The MORNING SPURLUCK sandwich
THe GOOD MORGAN SPURATTACK
The MORE GAIN SPUR GUT sandwich
The EGGMAKEPUFFIN
THe HUGESONOVABEECH sandwich
The BETCHACANTEATONE challenge
The MORNING MANLY MEAL
HEARTHATERS HEAVEN
The STUPIDSUPERDUPER
The WAKEUPTOYOURWAKE
WhopperTopper
The JUMBODUMBO
The HEARTTOSWALLOW sandwich