Saturday, March 12, 2005
FAREWELL RATHER GOOD FOR CBS, WINS NEWS RATINGS; NEW NIGHTLY RATHER FAREWELL SHOW LAUNCHES NEXT WEEK
In a move to capitalize on the hot ratings Dan Rather gathered during his final broadcast in the top news seat, CBS decided to extend the Anchor of Rancor's 630pm contract, announcing that the show will be renamed "The CBS Evening News: Last Broadcast with Dan Rather". "The concept has worked wonders with aging rock bands, and Cher, what with all their farewells and reunions and re-farewells and re-reunion tours, which the public can't eat up enough, so we figured, heck, why not for news?" said CBS's Head of Programming Publicity, Greg Gregarios. "Did you see those Eye-popping numbers for Dan, pun intended?" quipped Greg. "We beat the other two guys, hands down, and the higherups said, hey, maybe we were too quick to judge Dan, maybe we should ask Rather to unquit. Let him say goodbye every night, until the public tires of such a blatantly pandering stunt. And so they did." Rather was unavailable for comment, as he was busy finishing his special with retired NBC news anchor Tom Brokaw, about the new upcoming Harry Potter book; the show, "Tom, Dan and Harry", will air on the FantasyGeek channel this summer.
