Saturday, November 06, 2004
GOVT REPORTS 300,000+ NEW JOBS CREATED DURING PAST FEW WEEKS, MOSTLY IN HOT NEW PRISONER ABUSE INDUSTRY
More signs the economy is lifting itself out of a recession came this past week, as new job numbers continued to soar. Defense Chief Donald "The Other Donald" Rumsfeld applauded the data, saying the Prisoner Abuse field is still "growing like crazy"; President Bush agreed, adding that openings abroad at Abu Ghraib and other "hot spots" are even outpacing those at Guantanamo Bay. "Gitmo's great, but Iraq's where it's at", quipped Bush at his first post-mandate press conference. "I know the field of Presidential Polls and Punditry may have suffered recently, but there's no excuse not to go with Abuse." After pausing for laughs, which never came, he closed with "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the Capitol to spend my political capital."