Tuesday, November 02, 2004
JIMMY CARTER LEADS TEAM OF IRAQIS, AFGHANS, QADDAFI IN MONITORING FLORIDA VOTE; DECLARES "ALL IS PEACHY"
"JUST BUSINESS AS USUAL", EX PREZ REPORTS, "A FEW THOUSAND MISSING BALLOTS, ELECTRONIC VOTING MACHINE HACKING, AND AFRICAN-AMERICAN BULLYING"
Jimmy Carter confirmed that nothing out of the ordinary is going on in the key swing state of Florida today, Election Day. "It's amazing how normal things are", added fellow monitor Muammar Qaddafi. "Just the usual lost votes, confusing ballots, hanging chads, overlong lines, on-site disputes, faulty projections, journalist repression, armies of lawyers, exit poll harassment, factual lies, and disenfranchisement of dark-skinned minorities. But if anything unusual turns up, we'll letcha know."
Jimmy Carter confirmed that nothing out of the ordinary is going on in the key swing state of Florida today, Election Day. "It's amazing how normal things are", added fellow monitor Muammar Qaddafi. "Just the usual lost votes, confusing ballots, hanging chads, overlong lines, on-site disputes, faulty projections, journalist repression, armies of lawyers, exit poll harassment, factual lies, and disenfranchisement of dark-skinned minorities. But if anything unusual turns up, we'll letcha know."
