Tuesday, November 16, 2004
"RINGO 'N RINGER" CONCERT CANCELLED AFTER ARAFAT DEATH; EX-BEATLE GRUDGINGLY DROPS CLASSIC "YASSIR, THAT'S MY BABY" FROM TOUR
ARAFAT WILL BEQUEATHS FAMED HAT TO STARR
Drummer Ringo Starr told close friends he was feeling "not at all gear" at getting so little from his dead ringer doppleganger. "He could've left me more than just that bloody hat. Not that it really was bloody, but, you know, it's just a bleeding hat," said Ringo through his press agent. "Sure, it'll be gear at parties and Halloween, but it won't make up for all those daft stories about me and him being the same bloke." The ex-Beatle announced he will now omit his spot-on impression of his Palestine Pal from future tours, as well as the hit ditty "Arafat Chance", which whimsically reminisced about the odds the two men were related. In solidarity with his former bandmate, Paul McCartney vowed to stop performing "Yassirday", cease singing "Gaza Get You Into My Life", and smoke more pot.
